Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Anxious about Public Speaking

So, I know the Bible tells us to not be anxious for anything. However, I think public speaking should be an exception. Just kidding. One of my struggles has always been speaking in front of others. Right before speaking my palms get sweaty, my heart beats rapidly, my mind goes blank and then, my only prayer is "God please speak through me." Is'nt it amazing how faithful and timely He answers our prayers. Tonight, I had the privilege of speaking to a local church about our ministry. I along with 4 other missionaries had the joy of sharing about God's work in our city. Although my heart rate rises exponentially the day of a speaking engagement, there is nothing I love more than talking about our Savior! However, when my focus in on myself and not on Him, anxiety within my heart becomes very present.
Having a fear of speaking in front of others has reminded me of my dependence on the Lord. Sadly, I don't always think of my inadequacies until I am faced to function in an area of weakness. Such awareness has lead me to now prayerfully and practically cultivate an attitude of dependence upon the Lord, that even when I function in the things that I am "skilled" at doing, I still want to be mindful that "all things are from Him and through Him and to Him." I don't want to only be aware of my dependence on Christ in my weaknesses.

"He does not delight in the strength of the horse; He takes no pleasure in the legs of a man. The Lord takes pleasure in those who fear Him, In those who hope in His mercy." (Psalms 147:10-11)

Monday, August 16, 2010

Goodbye Summer...Hello Fall!

Today began the 1st day of our fall program!! Before I go into the plans for the fall, let me update you on the summer!!

This was my second summer at CGM, and what a difference a year makes. We had 120 children in our camp along with 16 interns. Although last summer was great, this year was even better. The interns along with our staff did an amazing job, in teaching the children the story of God’s Creation, Man’s Fall and His Redemption! The 1st week was filled with excited faces! The kids had waited all year for camp and what a 1st week it was. We went swimming, bowling, paintballing etc. We were having a great time! But no summer is complete without conflict. My 1st conflict resolution was with a white intern and one of our kids. This young girl had a problem with our intern being white and giving her instructions, so she chose to slander her. Here was an opportunity to teach about God's design in creating all of us in His image and the importance and beauty in loving and respecting those who are different.

Conflict provides an opportunity for us to teach the kids God’s way! To sit and dialogue with their offender or confess sin is foreign to most of our children. This is no small thing, b/c in our neighborhood conflict is sometimes ‘resolved’ with a gun. So, although I don’t welcome conflict I rejoice in the opportunity to teach the kids how to resolve their issues in such a way that brings healing!


I had the privilege of being with the older teenage girls! I always enjoy the honesty and frankness that characterize adolescence! The questions asked were so profound and the statements made were real and heart throbbing. I remember talking about the Fall of Mankind and the consequences we see, namely anger, drug addictions, broken families, imprisonment, murder, teenage pregnancy etc. One girl raised her hand and said this makes her sad b/c these are the things she sees around her. At this moment a lump was in my throat and my eyes were filled with water. How amazing it was for us to see that this young girl was making a connection between the truths of the Scriptures and the realities of everyday life. This is real!!! The story of redemption was the sweetest! This same young girl was angry and had a hard heart towards others, including the white intern. Yes, she understood the consequences of sin in the world, but what a joy it was to us when she understood that her sins separated her from a loving and gracious Father, who longed to have a personal relationship with her. Later on in the summer, this little girl said, “I want to be a Christian!!” Since then we have seen her go and ask for forgiveness to those whom she has offended and at times she would be the 1st to confess her faults. To see this girl love and enjoy being aroung those who are different is something only God can do! Her desire to know the Lord continues to grow and I am so encouraged to be a witness of God's work!


Overall, it was a great summer! The interns that served alongside
us are forever changed and our kids continue to learn about our Savior!!!! Thank you for all the prayers, encouragement and support!! I cannot do this without you!



Now, for the fall! We are starting to cultivate a new way of doing things! As a ministry we want to create an atmosphere of love, structure, discipline and grace! We desire to be intentional and share our lives with them as well as help in their long-term development! This means that we want to be in their lives constantly, especially during those times when they are most likely to engage in idle behavior that may be destructive. One way in which we do this, is through our after-school program. We help them with writing, reading etc. We also get into their world and help them to think critically and biblically about the messages that are communicated in the world, via media. We also have taekwondo, basketball, cheerleading and a girls group. We teach them about God and His Word in every area of life. Our goal is to help shape their view of the world in hopes that they will see the frailty & despair that this world offers and as a result seek and cling to the truthfulness of who God is and His desire for them to live a life consecrated to Him!

Today was the 1st day of the after school program, so please pray for us as we seek to be good stewards of this ministry in which God has entrusted to us!!!

Also, I will hopefully begin the Monday night Bible Study in Sept! Please pray that God would send women who are serious about forsaking the things of the world and pursuing Him!

I will keep you all more updated…